How Fruit, a Shaman and Reiki Healed My Life From the Inside Out

I declared January 2014 as my true rock bottom. I thought I had already hit it dozens of times before, but that was me lying to myself. Everyone says you will know it when you hit it, and they were right. I had unequivocally arrived.

It was the most defining point in my life. I had just experienced the most gut-wrenching heartbreak. My body was developing new physical ailments I had never dealt with before. And the crushing depression I had been carrying around for years, the one that had almost become a strange source of comfort, was no longer serving its purpose. The only good thing I felt I had was my job, and I was lucky for that. But my days had become a painful loop: go to work, cry on the drive home, curl into a ball for hours, cry some more.

The Moment Everything Changed

I will never forget the day I woke up and heard a quiet voice inside my head say: You can choose to live or die.

I know that sounds morbid, and yet painfully simple. But in my mind, those truly felt like my only two options, and I was prepared to carry out the darker one. Instead, I made the resounding choice to say YES and finally mean it. One way or another, I was going to seek the help that would quiet the intrusive demons inside my head once and for all. I was finally ready to live, not just exist, because merely existing can feel like a slow death.

Research supports the idea that this kind of decisive turning point matters deeply. According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is not a trait people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed over time. That moment of choosing to live was, without my realizing it, the first step in building the resilience that would carry me through everything that came next.

Becoming an Overnight Vegan (Almost)

Around this time, I was fortunate enough to attend a Tony Robbins event. It was genuinely life-changing, but I knew deep down that I was not yet capable of implementing what I had learned. I wanted to change more than anything, but I did not know how, and I could not figure out what was blocking me. Here I was, presented with this incredible opportunity, and I could not make the most of it. It was beyond frustrating.

But one shift did stick. I became an overnight vegan, well, vegetarian if you count the milk chocolate chips that were keeping me company daily. No meat, fish, eggs, or other dairy. It has been one of the best decisions of my life. A year later I became fully vegan and have not looked back since.

What I did not understand then was how deeply connected food choices are to emotional well-being. When we are in pain, we reach for foods that numb us rather than nourish us. Changing what I ate was not just a dietary shift. It was the beginning of learning to care for myself differently.

Finding My Healers: Reiki, Energy Work and Life Coaching

Then David and Heather entered my life, the founders of Zen Rose Garden. They became my reiki healers, life coaches, energy healers, hypnotherapists, and (I say this without exaggeration) my life saviors. I would not be writing this article today without their love, kindness, support and incredible wealth of knowledge.

One might say serendipity led me to them, pure luck. But I believe something deeper was at work. When you finally make a genuine decision, one the universe recognizes as you being truly ready to overcome your own barriers, it aligns you with exactly what you need to reach your next level.

As the saying goes: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

I will not sugarcoat it. The spiritual and emotional journey I embarked on with them has been the most difficult, yet most rewarding, process of my life. Your body remembers everything. Every emotion you stuffed down as a child, teenager, or young adult is still there, waiting to be dealt with. When you bring those buried feelings to the surface, you have to relive the pain in order to release it. There is no shortcut.

A growing body of research supports this connection between stored emotions and physical health. Harvard Health has documented the powerful link between emotional distress and physical symptoms, particularly through the gut-brain connection. What we carry emotionally often manifests in our bodies in very real ways.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Deep Healing

So I embarked on an incredible emotional rollercoaster, encountering painful feelings I had no idea I was still carrying. As a child, teenager and young adult, I had suffered with numerous physical ailments: arthritis, debilitating intestinal issues, hormonal problems and extreme nausea. And yes, every one of those ailments resurfaced (fortunately on and off) throughout the healing process. Physical pain and emotional pain are not separate entities. In order to heal one, I had to heal the other.

But let me tell you, I am now in a place I only dreamed of reaching. No matter how much physical or emotional pain I experienced, I always, always, kept the slightest bit of faith that I would figure out how to find my happiness. Apparently my soul knew something my conscious mind did not.

Going Deeper: Working With a Shaman

Let me preface this by saying there are a lot of self-proclaimed shamans out there. However, I was fortunate enough to find a legitimate one. There were two points during my work with Zen Rose Garden where I felt compelled to go even deeper, and seeing a shaman felt like the right move.

And wow, it was intense. Mind-blowingly intense. I honestly have no idea what transpired in those sessions. All I know is that my mind and body purged what was no longer needed from deep within my being. For the next three weeks after each session, I experienced even more intense purging, but I also felt unbelievably amazing.

Everything is energy: thoughts, feelings, emotions. You typically do not realize the weight of the burden until it is released. That I know for sure.

Shamanic healing has roots stretching back thousands of years across cultures worldwide. While Western science is still exploring how and why these practices work, a Psychology Today overview notes that many people report profound shifts in emotional well-being after shamanic sessions. Whether you view it through a spiritual lens or a psychological one, the release of deeply held emotional patterns can be transformative.

How Fruit Became My Unexpected Healer

And now for the fruit. We cannot forget about the fruit.

Very often, when you embark on a spiritual journey, your need for the heavy food you once consumed starts to disappear. And why is that? Because so much of what we eat is about numbing ourselves, not nourishing ourselves. There were plenty of times I slipped up and tried numbing myself with the foods that once comforted me. But after a certain point, the food numbing no longer worked the way it used to. I had simply come too far, in the best possible way.

I began craving lighter and lighter foods. And fruit, in my opinion, is the lightest, most life-giving and cleanest food you can eat. It is extremely cleansing for both mind and body, and your digestive system does not have to work hard to process it.

I used to be the world’s biggest chocoholic. I kept a bar of chocolate by my bedside and ate it first thing in the morning. Yes, it was that serious. Today, I do not crave sweets anymore, not in the slightest. I crave fruit. I know many people believe fruit causes weight gain or feeds candida, but my personal experience tells a different story. I can only speak from what I have lived and encourage you to do your own research on how eating well could potentially change your life too.

Where I Am Now: Equipped, Not “Fixed”

So is my healing journey over? I would say the deep cleaning is done. I have scrubbed the nooks and crannies. But I still constantly do touch-ups. I am always learning, growing and experiencing new situations.

The difference now is that I am equipped with the proper tools to navigate foreseeable difficulties. Recently, the universe tested me right after I returned on a high from another Tony Robbins seminar. What would have once knocked me flat only managed to sway me. I am still working through the lessons from that experience, and I still feel sadness at times. But if there is one thing I know for certain, it is that I have always possessed far more strength than I ever gave myself credit for.

And if you are reading this, you have more strength than you realize too.

The Power of Choice

One of the most beautiful gifts in this life is the power of choice. At any given moment, we all have the ability to say: enough is enough, I am not living like this anymore. Only you can decide when your breaking point is. Only you can decide when you are ready to stop merely existing and start truly living.

Whatever dream life you envision in your mind is one you can have. There is a reason you have held onto that dream for this long. Yes, you will have to go through some growing pains first. But that is infinitely better than living in a perpetual holding pattern for the rest of your life.

Health and love to everyone who took the time to read this. Your healing journey is waiting for you whenever you are ready to begin.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is reiki and how does it work?

Reiki is a form of energy healing that originated in Japan. A practitioner channels universal life force energy through their hands to support the body’s natural ability to heal. While scientific research on reiki is still evolving, many people report feeling deep relaxation, emotional release and reduced stress after sessions. It is often used alongside traditional medical treatments rather than as a replacement.

Can changing your diet really affect your mental health?

Yes. A growing field called nutritional psychiatry explores the connection between what we eat and how we feel. Research has shown that diets rich in whole foods, fruits and vegetables are associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety. When we stop using food as a numbing mechanism and start eating to nourish, the shift can be both physical and emotional.

What does a shaman actually do during a healing session?

Shamanic healing practices vary across traditions, but generally a shaman works to identify and release energetic blockages, emotional trauma or spiritual imbalances. Sessions may involve guided meditation, breathwork, sound healing or other techniques. The goal is to help the individual release stored pain and restore a sense of wholeness and balance.

Is it normal to feel worse before feeling better during emotional healing?

Absolutely. This is sometimes called a “healing crisis.” When you begin to process and release long-held emotions and trauma, those feelings often surface intensely before they clear. Physical symptoms can also temporarily flare up. This is a common and well-documented part of many healing modalities, and it usually signals that deep work is happening.

How do I know if I am ready to start a spiritual healing journey?

Readiness often shows up as a feeling that something has to change, paired with a willingness to face discomfort in order to grow. You do not need to have everything figured out before you begin. Many people start simply by acknowledging that their current patterns are no longer working. That honest acknowledgment is often the first and most important step.

Can you combine reiki with traditional therapy or medical treatment?

Yes, and many practitioners recommend doing exactly that. Reiki and other energy healing modalities can complement traditional therapy, counseling and medical care. They are not intended to replace professional mental health treatment but can work alongside it to support overall well-being. Always consult with your healthcare provider when integrating new healing practices into your routine.