You Deserve It All: Reclaiming Your Self-Worth and Learning to Believe It

When Pure Love Revealed Something About Self-Worth

My heart absolutely melted the first time I saw him in real life. He looked like a tiny angel, just precious. Although he was asleep, I could not resist cautiously picking him up and holding him in my arms for a long overdue cuddle. He had that intoxicating new baby smell. This boy is perfect, I thought to myself as I kissed his forehead and whispered softly, “welcome to the world, little man.”

Oliver is my nephew, and he arrived in the world in April. I honestly struggle to put my feelings towards him into words. This is a new level of love for me. While holding him during our first meeting, it felt as though time stood still as I enjoyed feeling the gentle rise and fall of his tiny chest against mine.

Thoughts came to me naturally:

• “You are wonderful.”
• “You are one of a kind.”
• “You deserve it all, kiddo.”

If you are lucky enough to have young children in your life, these feelings and thoughts of pure adoration will not be unfamiliar to you. However, if you are like most people, it is unlikely that feelings and thoughts of pure adoration towards yourself will be familiar.

Is that not heartbreaking? We look at babies and children with unconditional love, believing wholeheartedly that they deserve every good thing life has to offer. Yet somewhere along the way, we stopped extending that same grace to ourselves. The question worth asking is: when did we decide we were no longer worthy of the love we so freely give to others?

The Hidden Barriers Between You and What You Deserve

Most of us unconsciously limit the amount of love, success, happiness, and money we experience in our lives. We create invisible ceilings without even realizing it. These are caps on how much joy we will allow, how much success we will accept, and how much love we will receive.

We live in a world of absolute abundance. Are we not all worthy and deserving of the abundance of life? I believe we are. However, when you think about the limiting messages we hear growing up, it is no wonder we begin to restrict what we receive.

The Messages That Shaped Our Limiting Beliefs

Did you ever hear things like this?

• “Love yourself, but do not be arrogant.”
• “All good things must come to an end.”
• “Do not be greedy.”
• “Who do you think you are?”
• “Money does not grow on trees.”
• “You should be grateful for what you have.”

These messages, often delivered with good intentions, plant seeds of limitation in our minds. They teach us to play small, to not want too much, to feel guilty for our desires. The people who said these things likely did not realize the lasting impact their words would have.

On top of the limiting messages we hear growing up, the situations and events we experience in our early years shape our beliefs too. The child born into poverty, making sense of why some classmates have more than her, will falsely conclude that she must not deserve money or nice things. The child who is deprived of love or mistreated will falsely conclude that she must not deserve love.

According to Psychology Today’s research on child development, experts believe that by the age of seven, we have formed our fundamental view of the world. This suggests that unconsciously, right now, we are walking around living by beliefs we formed as children before the age of seven. It sounds almost absurd when you say it out loud, does it not?

No wonder we can find ourselves stuck. We are living life from the limiting beliefs we created in our childhood, beliefs that were never true in the first place.

How Childhood Experiences Create Unconscious Blocks

Our early experiences create what psychologists call “core beliefs.” These are deep, often unconscious assumptions about ourselves, others, and the world. When a child experiences rejection, neglect, or criticism, she does not have the cognitive capacity to understand that the adults around her might be flawed or struggling with their own issues. Instead, she internalizes the experience as evidence of her own inadequacy.

These core beliefs then act as filters through which we interpret every subsequent experience. If you believe deep down that you are not worthy of love, you will unconsciously push away loving relationships or fail to recognize them when they appear. If you believe you do not deserve success, you might sabotage opportunities or downplay your achievements.

The work of researchers studying neuroplasticity shows that these patterns, while deeply ingrained, are not permanent. The brain remains capable of forming new neural pathways throughout our lives. This means that with consistent effort, we can literally rewire the way we think about ourselves and what we deserve.

Understanding Your Inherent Worthiness

Before we dive into practical strategies, let us get something straight: you do not need to earn your worthiness. You do not need to accomplish more, weigh less, achieve bigger goals, or become a better person to deserve good things.

Your worthiness is inherent. It was there when you took your first breath, and it has not diminished since. No matter what experiences you have had or mistakes you have made, your fundamental worth remains intact.

Think back to that image of yourself as a baby. That tiny human did not need to prove anything to deserve love, comfort, and abundance. That tiny human simply was, and that was enough. Here is the truth that might feel uncomfortable: nothing has changed. You are still that deserving being. The only difference is the stories you have accumulated along the way, stories that convinced you otherwise.

The Neuroscience of Self-Worth

Research shows that our brains are remarkably adaptable. The neural pathways that were formed in childhood, those that tell us we are not enough, can be rewired. It takes consistency and patience, but it is absolutely possible to build new pathways that support a healthier sense of self-worth.

This is not just positive thinking or wishful affirmations. This is backed by science. What we repeatedly think, we strengthen. What we consistently believe, we create evidence for. Our brains are designed to prove us right, which means if we believe we do not deserve good things, we will unconsciously create circumstances that confirm that belief.

The good news? The reverse is also true. When we begin to shift our beliefs about our worthiness, our brains start looking for evidence to support that new belief. We begin to notice opportunities we would have previously overlooked, accept love we would have previously pushed away, and take actions that align with someone who knows she deserves it all.

Three Powerful Practices to Reclaim Your Worth

1. Install New Beliefs Through Consistent Affirmation

Our subconscious mind learns through repetition, so to install any new belief, we must affirm it time and time again. The easiest way to do this is simply to think to yourself: “I deserve it all.”

Anytime you notice a gap between your thoughts, say to yourself, “I deserve it all.” Say this before going into an important meeting. Say this when you wake up and when you close your eyes at night. Say it while you are waiting in line, while you are brushing your teeth, while you are driving to work.

There may be some resistance to accepting this affirmation. A part of you might cringe, argue back, or dismiss it entirely. But here is the thing: that resistance is actually a sign to continue rather than stop. The discomfort indicates you are challenging old programming. Trust that in time and through repetition, your brilliant mind will absorb and believe the affirmation.

Your mind does not initially care whether a statement is true, false, helpful, or unhelpful. It just accepts what it is repeatedly told. You have been telling yourself limiting stories for years, perhaps decades. It is time to tell yourself a new story.

Practical Ways to Reinforce This Belief Daily

• Phone and laptop backgrounds: Display “I deserve it all” or similar affirming words on your devices. Think about how many times you glance at your phone screen daily.
• Strategic reminders: Place notes on your bathroom mirror, refrigerator, car dashboard, and workspace where you will see them regularly.
• Voice memos: Record yourself saying affirming statements and listen during your commute or morning routine.
• Morning journaling: Write “I deserve it all” at the top of your morning pages as a daily anchor.
• Gentle alarms: Set reminders throughout the day with your affirmation as the label.

2. Practice Receiving Openly and With Genuine Gratitude

Whether you wish to feel more deserving of love, success, happiness, money, or all of them, invite more into your life by receiving openly and with gratitude. Decide from now that you will place no limits on what you are willing to have in your life.

Bring to mind a picture of yourself when you were a baby. When you were a new addition to the world. When you were tiny, unique, and adorable. As you imagine this little you, could you ever imagine placing limits on what this perfect being deserves? Of course not. You are here for a reason. You are a child of the universe. You deserve it all.

The Art of Receiving Without Guilt

Many of us are excellent givers but terrible receivers. We deflect compliments, downplay our achievements, and feel guilty when good things come our way. But receiving is just as important as giving. They are two sides of the same coin, and blocking one disrupts the natural flow of both.

Practice receiving in these ways:

• Accept compliments gracefully: When someone pays you a loving compliment, rather than rejecting it or brushing it off, simply say “thank you” and let it land. Let yourself feel good about it.
• Welcome opportunities: When a golden opportunity presents itself, welcome it with open arms and tell yourself, “I deserve this.”
• Allow help: When someone offers to help you, accept it. You do not have to do everything alone to prove your worth.
• Celebrate your wins: Do not rush past your achievements. Pause, acknowledge them, and let yourself feel proud.

As well as receiving openly, appreciate what you have now, as this will make it easier for more abundance to show up in your life. What we appreciate grows. According to research from UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, practicing gratitude literally changes brain structure in ways that support wellbeing and positive self-perception.

Try keeping a simple gratitude practice. Each morning or evening, note three things you are grateful for. But go deeper than the obvious. Instead of “I am grateful for my home,” try “I am grateful for the way morning light comes through my bedroom window.” The specificity trains your brain to notice abundance everywhere.

3. Ask Yourself: What Would Someone Who Believes They Deserve It All Do?

This practice is about acting in ways that align with someone who truly believes they deserve it all. Affirming to yourself “I deserve it all” is a powerful start, but coupled with aligned action, you will soon be living this truth.

Our most overlooked power is the power of choice. The truth is, right now, at this moment, we can begin to make different choices. Choices about how we wish to show up in the world. Choices about who we spend our precious time with. Choices about how we live our days, and ultimately, our lives.

If you ever feel stuck at a crossroads, ask yourself this question: What would the person who believes they deserve it all do? Your answers might just lead to different choices.

Applying This Question in Real Life Situations

Let us get practical. Here is how this question might change your decisions:

• At work: Would someone who believes they deserve it all stay silent in that meeting, or would they share their idea? Would they accept being passed over for promotion without a conversation, or would they advocate for themselves?
• In relationships: Would someone who believes they deserve it all tolerate being treated poorly, or would they establish healthy boundaries? Would they settle for crumbs of affection, or would they hold out for genuine love?
• With self-care: Would someone who believes they deserve it all skip meals, sacrifice sleep, and ignore their health? Or would they prioritize their wellbeing?
• With finances: Would someone who believes they deserve it all hesitate to negotiate their salary? Would they feel guilty about investing in their growth?

This is not about becoming selfish or entitled. It is about recognizing that taking care of yourself, advocating for yourself, and believing in your worth is not arrogance. It is self-respect. And you absolutely deserve that.

When Believing in Your Worth Feels Impossible

Let us be honest: there will be days when none of this feels true. Days when the old voices are louder than the new ones. Days when you look in the mirror and struggle to believe you deserve anything at all.

Those days are part of the journey. They do not mean you are failing or that the work is not working. They mean you are human, and rewiring years of conditioning does not happen overnight.

On those difficult days, be extra gentle with yourself. Maybe you cannot fully believe “I deserve it all” today, but can you believe “I am learning to believe I deserve it all”? Can you believe “Part of me is starting to believe I deserve more”?

Meet yourself where you are. Progress is not linear, and self-compassion is part of believing in your own worth. Dr. Kristin Neff’s research shows that self-compassion is actually more motivating than self-criticism, contrary to what many of us were taught.

Your Worth Is Not Up for Debate

At the end of the day, remember this: Love, success, happiness, and money. You deserve it all.

Not because you have earned it through suffering. Not because you have proven yourself worthy through achievements. Not because someone else has granted you permission.

You deserve it because you exist. You deserve it because you are here. You deserve it because the same force that created stars and oceans and everything beautiful in this world also created you, and it does not make mistakes.

The work is not about becoming deserving. The work is about remembering that you already are. So start today. Affirm it. Receive openly. Act accordingly. And watch as your life begins to reflect what your heart has always known: you deserve it all.