You Deserve It All: Learning to Believe in Your Own Worth

When Pure Love Taught Me Something About Self-Worth

My heart absolutely melted the first time I saw him in real life. He looked like a tiny angel, just precious. Although he was asleep, I couldn’t resist cautiously picking him up and holding him in my arms for a long overdue cuddle. He had that intoxicating new-baby-smell. This boy is perfect, I thought to myself as I kissed his forehead and whispered softly, “welcome to the world, little man.”

Oliver is my nephew, and he arrived in the world in April. I honestly struggle to put my feelings towards him into words-this is a new level of love for me. While holding him during our first meeting, it felt as though time stood still as I enjoyed feeling the gentle rise and fall of his tiny chest against mine.

Thoughts came to me naturally:

• “You are wonderful.”
• “You are one of a kind.”
• “You deserve it all, kiddo.”

If you’re lucky enough to have young children in your life, these feelings and thoughts of pure adoration won’t be unfamiliar to you. However, if you’re like most people, it’s unlikely that feelings and thoughts of pure adoration towards yourself will be familiar.

Isn’t that heartbreaking? We look at babies and children with unconditional love, believing wholeheartedly that they deserve every good thing life has to offer. Yet somewhere along the way, we stopped extending that same grace to ourselves.

The Hidden Barriers Between You and What You Deserve

Most of us unconsciously limit the amount of love, success, happiness, and money we experience in our lives. We create invisible ceilings without even realizing it-caps on how much joy we’ll allow, how much success we’ll accept, how much love we’ll receive.

We live in a world of absolute abundance. Are we not all worthy and deserving of the abundance of life? I believe we are. However, when you think about the limiting messages we hear growing up, it’s no wonder we begin to restrict what we receive.

The Messages That Shaped Our Beliefs

Did you ever hear things like this?

• “Love yourself, but don’t be arrogant.”
• “All good things must come to an end.”
• “Don’t be greedy.”
• “Who do you think you are?”
• “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
• “You should be grateful for what you have.”

These messages, often delivered with good intentions, plant seeds of limitation in our minds. They teach us to play small, to not want too much, to feel guilty for our desires.

On top of the limiting messages we hear growing up, the situations and events we experience in our early years shape our beliefs too. The child born into poverty, making sense of why some classmates have more than her, will falsely conclude, “Oh, I mustn’t deserve money or nice things then.” The child who is deprived of love or mistreated will falsely conclude, “Oh, I mustn’t deserve love then.”

According to child development research, experts believe that by the age of seven, we have formed our fundamental view of the world. This suggests that unconsciously, right now, we are walking around living by beliefs we formed as children before the age of seven. It sounds almost absurd when you say it out loud, doesn’t it?

No wonder we can find ourselves stuck: we are living life from the limiting beliefs we created in our childhood.

Understanding Your Worthiness at a Deeper Level

Before we dive into practical strategies, let’s get something straight: you don’t need to earn your worthiness. You don’t need to accomplish more, weigh less, achieve bigger goals, or become a better person to deserve good things.

Your worthiness is inherent. It was there when you took your first breath, and it hasn’t diminished since-no matter what experiences you’ve had or mistakes you’ve made.

Think back to that image of yourself as a baby. That tiny human didn’t need to prove anything to deserve love, comfort, and abundance. That tiny human simply was, and that was enough.

Here’s the truth that might feel uncomfortable: nothing has changed. You are still that deserving being. The only difference is the stories you’ve accumulated along the way-stories that convinced you otherwise.

The Science Behind Self-Worth

Research in neuroplasticity shows that our brains are remarkably adaptable. The neural pathways that were formed in childhood-those that tell us we’re not enough-can be rewired. It takes consistency and patience, but it is absolutely possible to build new pathways that support a healthier sense of self-worth.

This isn’t just positive thinking or wishful affirmations. This is backed by science: what we repeatedly think, we strengthen. What we consistently believe, we create evidence for. Our brains are designed to prove us right, which means if we believe we don’t deserve good things, we’ll unconsciously create circumstances that confirm that belief.

The good news? The reverse is also true.

Three Powerful Practices to Reclaim Your Worth

1. Install the Belief Through Consistent Affirmation

Our subconscious mind learns through repetition, so to install any new belief, we must affirm it time and time again. The easiest way to do this is simply to think to yourself: “I deserve it all.”

Anytime you notice a gap between your thoughts, say to yourself, “I deserve it all.” Say this before going into an important meeting. Say this when you wake up and when you close your eyes at night. Say it while you’re waiting in line, while you’re brushing your teeth, while you’re driving to work.

There may be some resistance to accepting this affirmation-a part of you might cringe, argue back, or dismiss it entirely. But here’s the thing: that resistance is actually a sign to continue rather than stop. The discomfort indicates you’re challenging old programming. Trust that in time and through repetition, your brilliant mind will absorb and believe the affirmation.

Your mind doesn’t initially care whether a statement is true, false, helpful, or unhelpful-it just accepts what it’s repeatedly told. You’ve been telling yourself limiting stories for years, perhaps decades. It’s time to tell yourself a new story.

Just imagine how powerful you will feel living your life affirming this to yourself. How much more empowering than the usual nonsensical doubts and fears we tend to think about!

Practical Ways to Reinforce This Belief

• Phone and laptop backgrounds: Display “I deserve it all” or similar affirming words on your devices. Think about how many times you glance at your phone screen daily.
• Post-it notes: Place them on your bathroom mirror, refrigerator, car dashboard, and workspace.
• Voice memos: Record yourself saying affirming statements and listen during your commute.
• Journaling: Write “I deserve it all” at the top of your morning pages.
• Alarms: Set gentle reminders throughout the day with your affirmation as the label.

2. Receive Openly and With Genuine Gratitude

Whether you wish to feel more deserving of love, success, happiness, money, or all of them, invite more into your life by receiving openly and with gratitude. Decide from now that you’ll place no limits on what you are willing to have in your life.

I want you to try something for me. Bring to mind a picture of yourself when you were a baby. When you were a new addition to the world. When you were tiny, unique, and adorable. As you imagine this little you, could you ever imagine placing limits on what this perfect being deserves?

Of course not. You’re here for a reason. You are a child of the universe. You deserve it all.

The Art of Receiving

Many of us are excellent givers but terrible receivers. We deflect compliments, downplay our achievements, and feel guilty when good things come our way. But receiving is just as important as giving-they’re two sides of the same coin.

Practice receiving in these ways:

• Accept compliments gracefully: When someone pays you a loving compliment, rather than rejecting it or brushing it off, simply say “thank you” and let it land. Let yourself feel good about it.
• Welcome opportunities: When a golden opportunity presents itself, welcome it with open arms and tell yourself, “I deserve this.”
• Allow help: When someone offers to help you, accept it. You don’t have to do everything alone to prove your worth.
• Celebrate your wins: Don’t rush past your achievements. Pause, acknowledge them, and let yourself feel proud.

Cultivate Gratitude for What You Already Have

As well as receiving openly, appreciate what you have now, as this will make it easier for more abundance to show up in your life. What we appreciate grows.

Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is perfect or ignoring your desires for more. It’s about acknowledging the good that already exists while remaining open to receiving more. It’s about trusting that wanting more doesn’t make you ungrateful-it makes you human.

Try keeping a simple gratitude practice: each morning or evening, note three things you’re grateful for. But go deeper than the obvious. Instead of “I’m grateful for my home,” try “I’m grateful for the way morning light comes through my bedroom window.” The specificity trains your brain to notice abundance everywhere.

3. Ask Yourself: What Would the Person Who Believes They Deserve It All Do?

This practice is about acting in ways that align with someone who truly believes they deserve it all. Affirming to yourself “I deserve it all” is a powerful start-but coupled with aligned action, you’ll soon be living this truth.

Our most overlooked power is the power of choice. The truth is, right now, at this moment, we can begin to make different choices. Choices about how we wish to show up in the world. Choices about who we spend our precious time with. Choices about how we live our days, and ultimately, our lives.

If you ever feel stuck at a crossroads, ask yourself this question:

What would the person who believes they deserve it all do?

Your answers might just lead to different choices.

Applying This Question in Daily Life

Let’s get practical. Here’s how this question might change your decisions:

• At work: Would someone who believes they deserve it all stay silent in that meeting, or would they share their idea? Would they accept being passed over for promotion without a conversation, or would they advocate for themselves?
• In relationships: Would someone who believes they deserve it all tolerate being treated poorly, or would they establish boundaries? Would they settle for crumbs of affection, or would they hold out for genuine love?
• With self-care: Would someone who believes they deserve it all skip meals, sacrifice sleep, and ignore their health? Or would they prioritize their wellbeing?
• With finances: Would someone who believes they deserve it all hesitate to negotiate their salary? Would they feel guilty about investing in their growth?

This isn’t about becoming selfish or entitled. It’s about recognizing that taking care of yourself, advocating for yourself, and believing in your worth isn’t arrogance-it’s self-respect. And you absolutely deserve that.

When Believing Feels Impossible

Let’s be honest: there will be days when none of this feels true. Days when the old voices are louder than the new ones. Days when you look in the mirror and struggle to believe you deserve anything at all.

Those days are part of the journey. They don’t mean you’re failing or that the work isn’t working. They mean you’re human, and rewiring years of conditioning doesn’t happen overnight.

On those difficult days, be extra gentle with yourself. Maybe you can’t fully believe “I deserve it all” today-but can you believe “I’m learning to believe I deserve it all”? Can you believe “Part of me is starting to believe I deserve more”?

Meet yourself where you are. Progress isn’t linear, and self-compassion is part of believing in your own worth.

Your Worth Is Not Up for Debate

At the end of the day, remember this: Love, success, happiness, and money-you deserve it all.

Not because you’ve earned it through suffering. Not because you’ve proven yourself worthy through achievements. Not because someone else has granted you permission.

You deserve it because you exist. You deserve it because you are here. You deserve it because the same force that created stars and oceans and everything beautiful in this world also created you-and it doesn’t make mistakes.

The work isn’t about becoming deserving. The work is about remembering that you already are.

So start today. Affirm it. Receive openly. Act accordingly. And watch as your life begins to reflect what your heart has always known: you deserve it all.