You Already Know What You Want (So Why Are You Asking Everyone Else for Business Advice?)

Nothing compares to the life lessons I took away from working in food service for 9 years. Yes, 9 years. And while the tips were decent and the stories are endless, I walked away from that industry with a business lesson I didn’t even realize I was learning.

The Restaurant Scene That Plays Out in Every Boardroom

Whether you’ve waitressed or not, you’ve probably been involved in this exact conversation:

Waitress: “What can I get for you tonight?”
Guest: “I don’t know what I want, what do you like?”
Waitress: “I love the scallops, the salmon, and the arugula flatbread.”
Guest: (shaking their head) “NO NO NO! I’ll just go with the chicken parm. I love chicken parm.”

That guest already knew what they wanted before the server ever walked up. They just needed to hear a few outside opinions to feel confident in their own choice. And honestly? We do the exact same thing with our careers, our businesses, and our money.

Think about the last time you had a big financial or career decision on your plate. Maybe it was whether to leave your 9 to 5 and start that business. Maybe it was whether to invest in yourself, go back to school, or negotiate a raise. What did you do first? You probably asked your mom, your partner, your coworker, your best friend, and then Googled it for good measure.

And after all that outside input? You probably went with the thing you already wanted to do.

That’s your inner business instinct talking. And she’s been there the whole time.

Why We Crowdsource Our Financial Decisions

Here’s the thing. Asking for advice isn’t inherently bad. Getting mentorship, learning from people who’ve been where you want to go, doing your research, all of that matters. The problem starts when we use other people’s opinions as a substitute for our own judgment.

There’s actually a name for this in psychology. It’s called choice overload, and research from Columbia University found that when people are presented with too many options (or too many opinions), they become less satisfied with the decisions they ultimately make. More input doesn’t equal better outcomes. Sometimes it just creates more doubt.

And when it comes to money and career decisions, that doubt can be expensive. You delay launching the business. You stay in the underpaying job another year. You talk yourself out of the investment because your cousin’s friend said it was “risky.” Meanwhile, the version of you that trusts her gut is sitting at the table, quietly knowing she wants the chicken parm and wondering why you’re still reading the menu.

A lot of women, especially, are conditioned to seek approval before making moves. We’re taught to be collaborative (which is beautiful), but somewhere along the way, collaboration turned into “make sure everyone is okay with what I’m doing before I do it.” And in business, that can cost you time, money, and momentum.

Not Everyone at the Table Gets to Order for You

Let’s go back to the restaurant metaphor for a second, because it’s honestly too perfect.

Imagine you’re sitting at dinner and you know exactly what you want. But the person across from you says, “Don’t get the steak, it’s too expensive.” Someone else says, “You should get what I’m getting so we can split it.” Another person chimes in with, “Are you sure? That’s a lot of food.”

Now imagine those same voices in the context of your money and career:

• “Don’t invest in that course, it’s too expensive.”
• “You should just do what I did. Get the safe job with benefits.”
• “Are you sure you can handle running your own business?”

Sound familiar?

The people giving you advice aren’t bad people. Most of them genuinely care about you. But their advice is filtered through their fears, their experiences, and their financial comfort zones. Your dad who worked the same job for 35 years might not understand why you’d leave a salaried position to freelance. Your friend who’s never invested might panic at the idea of you putting money into the stock market. Their menu looks completely different from yours.

According to research highlighted by Harvard Business Review, people consistently underestimate how much outside influence shapes their decisions. We think we’re just gathering information, but we’re actually absorbing other people’s biases and limitations without realizing it.

That doesn’t mean you should never listen to anyone. It means you need to stop worrying about what people think and learn to filter advice through your own values and goals first.

Your Inner Business Voice Is Already Talking. Are You Listening?

Here’s what I want you to sit with for a minute. You probably already know what you want financially. You might already know the career move you need to make. The business idea that keeps nudging at you? That’s not random. The nagging feeling that you’re underpaid? That’s not insecurity. That’s information.

The challenge isn’t figuring out what you want. The challenge is trusting yourself enough to act on it.

I’ve seen this pattern play out so many times, in my own life and in the lives of women around me. We have the idea. We feel the pull. And then we spend months (sometimes years) looking for external validation before we give ourselves permission to move. We want someone to say, “Yes, that’s the right call.” We want a guarantee. But business doesn’t come with guarantees. What it does come with is your gut instinct, your lived experience, and the quiet knowing that keeps whispering even when you try to ignore it.

Self-trust in business isn’t about being reckless. It’s not about ignoring data or refusing to learn from others. It’s about recognizing that after you’ve done the research and gathered the information, the final call is yours. And more often than not, you already know what that call is.

What Happens When You Order Someone Else’s Meal

Let me paint this picture for you. You want to start a business. You’ve been thinking about it for over a year. You’ve done the research. You know your niche. But instead of trusting that instinct, you listen to the loudest voices around you and take the “safe” corporate job instead.

Six months in, you’re miserable. You’re making decent money, sure, but you feel like you’re eating someone else’s dinner. It doesn’t fill you up. It doesn’t excite you. Every Sunday night you dread Monday morning, and that business idea is still sitting in your notes app, waiting.

That’s what happens when you let other people order for you. You end up with a plate full of things that don’t serve you. You spend your time and energy on a career that doesn’t align with your values. And worst of all, you carry the anxiety of knowing you didn’t choose what you actually wanted.

The financial version of this is equally painful. You keep your money in a savings account earning almost nothing because someone told you investing is “too risky.” You don’t negotiate your salary because someone said you should just be grateful to have a job. You downplay your prices because you’re afraid of what people will think.

According to CNBC reporting on financial confidence, women consistently report lower confidence in financial decision making, even when their actual financial knowledge is on par with (or exceeds) their male counterparts. The gap isn’t in knowledge. It’s in self-trust.

How to Start Ordering for Yourself

So how do you start trusting your own business and financial instincts? It starts with small, intentional shifts.

1. Notice when you’re outsourcing your decisions

Pay attention to how often you ask “What do you think I should do?” before you’ve even asked yourself. Next time a financial or career decision comes up, sit with it for 24 hours before you poll the group chat. Write down what you think first. You might be surprised at how clear your own voice is when you actually give it space.

2. Separate advice from projection

When someone gives you business or money advice, ask yourself: is this based on knowledge and experience, or is this based on their fear? There’s a massive difference between a mentor saying, “Here’s what I learned when I launched,” and your friend saying, “I could never do that, it’s too scary.” Learn to tell the difference.

3. Build your financial confidence with action

Self-trust isn’t built by thinking about it. It’s built by doing. Make one small financial decision this week without asking anyone’s opinion. Open that investment account. Send that invoice. Apply for that role. Each time you act on your own judgment and survive (or thrive), you’re teaching yourself that your instincts are worth listening to.

4. Keep a “wins” journal

Start documenting every time you trusted yourself and it worked out. Every negotiation you nailed, every gut feeling that proved right, every passion you pursued that paid off. When self-doubt creeps in (and it will), this journal becomes your evidence file. Proof that you know more than you give yourself credit for.

5. Curate your advisory table

You don’t have to cut everyone out. But you do get to choose who sits at your table. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to think bigger, not people who project their limitations onto your vision. Find mentors, communities, and peers who have done the things you want to do, not people who are afraid of the things you want to try.

Order the Life (and the Business) That Makes Your Mouth Water

At the end of the day, this is your business, your money, your career, your life. You’re the one who has to live with the choices on your plate. So why are you letting everyone else decide what you’re having?

It’s time to start ordering the career that excites you. The business that keeps you up at night (in the best way). The financial moves that scare you a little but feel right in your bones. Stop settling for someone else’s safe suggestion when you already know what you want.

Your inner business voice has been there all along. She’s been whispering through every pro and con list, every sleepless night spent dreaming about what could be, every moment you felt a pull toward something bigger.

Trust her. She already knows.