7 Ways to Stop Overthinking and Start Making Money Moves

Have you ever had this experience? You’re in a meeting pitching your idea, and suddenly your brain floods with questions. Do they think I’m qualified enough? How long have I been talking? Is my voice shaking? Why did I phrase it that way? Am I even making sense? You’re supposed to be closing the deal, but instead you’re watching yourself from the outside, critiquing every word like a judge on a reality show.

If this sounds familiar, you’re experiencing what psychologists call “spectatoring,” a term coined by Masters and Johnson in the 1970s. While they originally applied it to intimate settings, the phenomenon shows up everywhere, especially in our financial and professional lives. It’s that out-of-body feeling where instead of doing the work, you’re watching yourself do the work. And let me tell you, it is one of the biggest silent saboteurs of women’s earning potential.

Research from the Harvard Business Review confirms that overthinking is directly linked to decreased performance, poor decision-making, and chronic stress. Women, in particular, tend to ruminate more than men when it comes to professional and financial decisions. We second-guess our pricing, our pitches, our promotions, and our investments. We sit in our heads when we should be sitting in our power.

But here’s the good news. You can retrain your brain. Here are seven ways to stop spectatoring your career and finances, and start actually living in them.

1. Get Intimate with Your Financial Body

Just like body image issues fuel self-consciousness in other areas of life, financial shame fuels overthinking in business. The less familiar you are with your actual numbers, the more anxious you become every time money is on the table. You avoid looking at your bank account, you ignore your profit margins, and then you wonder why you freeze up during salary negotiations.

My best advice? Break out the mirror (metaphorically) and look at your finances. Pull up every account. Look at your income, your debt, your spending, your savings. Don’t judge it. Just observe. Note what surprises you, what feels good, and what makes you uncomfortable.

The goal here isn’t to fix everything overnight. It’s to build a kinder relationship with yourself, including the financial version of yourself. The woman who is $40K in student loan debt deserves the same compassion as the woman who just closed a six-figure deal. When you stop being afraid to look, you stop being afraid to act.

Let me emphasize the slow part of that last statement. Improving your relationship with money is a matter of kindness and patience, not perfection.

2. Communicate Your Worth Out Loud

Here’s something I’ve noticed with almost every woman I’ve talked to about money: we are spectacularly bad at telling people what we want to earn. We’ll hint. We’ll hope. We’ll wait for someone else to notice our value. And then when we’re sitting in the negotiation, our brains spiral because we never actually clarified (even to ourselves) what “enough” looks like.

So here’s your assignment. Tell someone, your partner, your mentor, your business bestie, exactly what you want to earn this year and why. Say it out loud. “I want to make $120K because that’s what my skills are worth and that’s what will let me live the life I’m building.”

The next time you’re in a meeting and your brain starts whispering, “Are they going to think I’m asking for too much?” you’ll have an anchor. You’ve already said it. You’ve already owned it. The guesswork is gone. According to research published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, employees who clearly articulate their compensation expectations are significantly more likely to receive offers that match or exceed those expectations.

And don’t forget, just as important as advocating for what you want is being honest about what isn’t working. If a client relationship is draining you, if a project scope has ballooned beyond what you agreed to, if you’re doing $200/hour work for $50/hour pay, say something. Trying to silence that voice in your head while simultaneously ignoring a real problem is like trying to meditate during a fire alarm. Address it, then move forward.

3. Focus on Value Creation, Not the Outcome

This is the business equivalent of making pleasure the goal instead of the finish line. When you’re laser-focused on closing the sale, landing the client, or hitting a revenue target, you put enormous pressure on a single moment. And pressure is where overthinking thrives.

Instead, shift your focus to creating value. Ask yourself: Am I solving a real problem? Am I showing up with genuine expertise? Am I making this interaction worthwhile for the other person? When you lead with value, confidence follows naturally because you’re anchored in what you’re giving, not what you might lose.

You can approach this two ways: focus on the value you’re creating for your client or customer, or focus on the value you’re creating for yourself. I like to alternate between the two.

When you’re focused outward, pour your energy into making your product, service, or contribution undeniably excellent. When you’re focused inward, give yourself permission to enjoy the process. Celebrate the pitch even if you don’t land it. Appreciate the growth even before you see the revenue. This is what real self-confidence looks like in action.

4. Practice Financial Mindfulness (Yes, Really)

I know, I know. “Be present” is advice that’s been repeated so many times it practically echoes. But there’s a reason for that: it works, especially with money.

Financial mindfulness means paying attention to your money behaviors without judgment. It means noticing when you impulse-buy because you’re stressed, or when you avoid invoicing a client because you feel weird about asking for money, or when you say yes to a project that’s below your rate because you’re scared nothing better will come along.

The easiest way to start is by focusing on your breath the next time a financial decision makes you anxious. Before you respond to that lowball offer, before you talk yourself out of raising your prices, before you spiral into “what if this doesn’t work,” take three slow breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. You’ll be amazed at how much clarity shows up in that pause.

Try this daily practice: spend two minutes checking in with your “financial body.” How does your chest feel when you think about your bank account? What emotion comes up when you think about your career trajectory? Can you notice those feelings without immediately trying to fix them? This is the same mindfulness practice that works off the yoga mat, applied directly to your wallet.

5. Practice Making Money Decisions Solo

This might not be the advice you expected, but in order to make better financial decisions with others (partners, investors, clients), you need to get better at making them alone. Think of it as building your financial muscle memory.

If you already make solo money decisions regularly, try switching it up. If you always invest in index funds, research one individual stock. If you always price your services hourly, experiment with a value-based package. If you always save in a traditional savings account, open a high-yield one. The point is to shake your brain out of its autopilot patterns.

Changing things up expands your financial identity. You stop being “the woman who only does X with money” and start becoming someone who is fluent and flexible with financial decisions.

If you’re not yet in the habit of making solo financial decisions, this is your golden opportunity. Start small. Set a monthly “money date” with yourself. Review your spending, research one new financial concept, make one proactive money move. Over time, you’ll build a relationship with your finances that is rooted in knowledge, not fear. And when you bring that confidence into a business negotiation or a partnership discussion, you won’t be stuck in your head because you’ll actually know what you’re talking about.

6. Try On Your CEO Self

Sometimes the fastest way to stop overthinking is to become someone who doesn’t. I’m not suggesting you fake your quarterly earnings (please, never do that). I’m suggesting you try on a different version of yourself, the version who already has the career, the income, and the confidence you’re working toward.

As women, we often suppress our ambitious, powerful selves to play our other roles: the accommodating coworker, the humble freelancer, the “I’m just grateful to be here” employee. So in order to tap into our CEO energy, we might need to borrow someone else’s confidence for a while.

Think of a woman whose professional presence you admire. Maybe it’s a Forbes Power Woman, maybe it’s your old boss, maybe it’s a version of future you. Give her a name if you want. Now channel her. How would she walk into that boardroom? How would she respond to that email? Would she spend three hours agonizing over whether to send that invoice, or would she just send it?

Ask yourself: who do I need to become in order to build the financial life I want? Then practice being that person until the practice becomes your reality.

7. Remove “Should” from Your Financial Vocabulary

This probably sounds ironic coming from someone who just gave you six things to try. But “should” is one of the most financially destructive words in the English language.

I should have started investing earlier. I should be making more by now. I should understand cryptocurrency. I should have that promotion already. I should be further along. Every single one of those thoughts pulls you out of the present moment and into a spiral of comparison, shame, and paralysis.

The truth is, your financial journey is yours. There is no universal timeline for building wealth, launching a business, or figuring out your 401(k). The only thing you “should” do is accept where you are right now without judgment. Accept that you’re learning. Accept that you’re growing. Accept that some months will be abundant and others will be tight.

You might find that when you stop fighting where you are financially, it becomes so much easier to move forward. Energy that was locked up in self-criticism gets freed up for actual progress. And that, my friends, is when the real money moves begin.

There you have it: 7 ways to stop overthinking your way out of the career and financial life you deserve. The next time you catch yourself spiraling in a meeting, freezing before a negotiation, or avoiding your bank account like it’s an ex, come back to these practices. Your future self (and her portfolio) will thank you.